The Day I Quit You Was The Day I Started Loving Myself

 

Photo taken at Nathan Road, Tsim Sha Tsui, Hong Kong, on a busy Tuesday afternoon.


I’m in a limbo
. I couldn’t say that I have moved on already but I know that the hurting is not there anymore at least. I don’t know why, but maybe I’ve moved on even before we broke up. I saw it coming. I had to be ready.

I remember when you talked to me once sometime around last week and found out that I was having a crush on somebody, you got upset and jealous. I didn’t understand why you were like that but I knew to myself that I was not making any form of revenge against you. But, did you realize that when you told me you had a crush on him I didn’t even flinch at all? Did you not think I got hurt? Did you not feel that I was upset but I was just not showing it to you? That day, I realized that I had to quit you.

You were my opium because you kept me high all the time that I didn’t even feel that I was hurting. You were the drugs you knew that I couldn’t quit before. You were the rapist because you used your charm to abuse me and my existence. You were the storm that kept raining on my parade. You were the excess baggage that I had to carry every now and then. You were once the alpha, but never was – and never will be – the omega.

Today, I’m planning my next adventure and I am so glad that you are not even part of it anymore. Moreover, it was really a tough decision to leave the group and to cut ties with you, even when you were offering friendship and peace to me, but this has to be done. It’s not about bitterness but finding a good way on how I could pick myself up again.

Then, you told me that you two were finally together but in a not so smooth sailing though. I was not hurt that I found out about the two of you. Why? I knew and learnt the hardest way possible – that getting sad about something that has been broken before is absurd.

Today I had to quit you to find myself that I lost 2 years ago for you. This time, I am ready to find a new love; to start a new chapter of my life; to settle down for good; to leave those lingering memories behind. Today, I had to quit you to make room for new learning for myself. Today, I had to quit you to give myself some breather and happiness. Your presence once shackled, suffocated me and I deserve nothing about you. You were once my sweetest downfall, but never again. +++

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