I am Independent and This is What Love Means to Me


“We accept the love we think we deserve.” – Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower.

I came from a family where my parents have trusted me enough to do things on my own even when I was still a kid. Back then, when I was still 5 years old, I had to learn things by myself. Not because my parents didn’t love me, but because I understand that they’re both busy with their professions back then. I needed to have that initiative to get things done at school and at home.

When I studied in the University, I didn’t ask that much money from my parents. I found a way to support myself, even to get some of my wants in life. I was not only independent at that time but I was also brave enough to discover many ways to get things done without others’ help.

I can definitely say that –

I am independent
I am free
I am capable of doing things on my own.

No, I don’t need someone who will take me out for fancy dates in an expensive restaurant. No, I don’t want someone who will give me gifts when it’s our anniversary or when it’s my birthday. No, it’s not okay to me when you think I am an accessory that you can bring to any party or occasion. No, it will never be okay with me when you think I am someone who is under you or anyone else.

I deserve love for who I am and not for who that person wants me to be. I should be loved based on my capabilities and not on whatever I cannot do in life because that’s being pitiful but not loving.

I am kind and vulnerable at times but that doesn’t give anyone the right to hurt me. I am strong and no one can take that away from me. Nobody deserves unjust treatment and I deserve to be treated right. I am not just an option for anyone to neglect.

I deserve that kind of love which empowers me as a person. I long for that person who will not down me but complement me as we move forward in this life. I don’t look if that person is strong or weak and it isn’t about that. What I look for in a person is the ability to appreciate what I can give and whatever I would be.

I don’t think I need a romantic partner to complete my life, but I need someone who will me realize that despite being strong, independent, and capable,  I am still capable of growing and learning; that there are still lots of things to learn and look forward to in this life. +++

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